For some of us being assertive is quite challenging and frightening.
Looking back at the situation where we wish we would have expressed ourselves and say what we really want, we can easily become frustrated and feel ashamed. But the truth is that there are reasons for not being as assertive as it makes sense to us.
Here’s a short article about it.
Growing up in a household where your emotions are either actively discouraged or punished, or simply ignored takes a toll on you, a developing child. You internalize the message that your feelings, your needs, your views don’t matter. It’s a belief that’s rooted in childhood feelings. That belief / feeling is powerful, and it stays with you throughout your life.
Don’t make waves
Don’t talk about anything negative
Don’t let anyone else know what you feel, need or think
Don’t take up too much space
All of these messages are powerful deterrents to assertiveness. They make you feel, deep within yourself, that speaking up for yourself is not only a burden to others, it’s also just plain wrong